Well, I honestly didn’t expect this .. I know that I haven’t written a blog in what seems to be and probably is years, but to my surprise, when I went to log into my page….. it was gone..
All my previous posts were deleted, and there’s no way to get them back.. fitting for the day really.
Memorial Day 2017.
Okay, lets talk.. back story. It’s been a few years.. right ? So…. I’ve gone through A LOT in the past several years, if you know me.. you and skip or skim this part. If you don’t I’ll try and make this brief.
I was born on a Sunny Sunday morning in July…. at least that is what my mom told me… I think, but I can’t ask her because she hasn’t figured out how to use the phone from heaven yet … ( Don’t worry mom, we’ll get it right someday.) I was brought up as an only child living a full, and joyous life in a small town in Upstate NY… If I could paint a picture of my childhood… it would be green, with watercolor flowers. It would smell like fresh cut grass and Home made Chocolate chip cookies. It would make you feel a warm smile cross your lips.
Now don’t get me wrong, not everything is sunshine and rainbows.. We all have our dark days.. and I am a firm believer in the thought that to truly appreciate the light, you have to accept and work through the dark. I have certainly experience my share of the dark in the past several years.
In June of 2015, my mom, my best friend, a truly selfless woman who lived for her pets and for me.. who went without so that I would not…. was diagnosed with Cancer. Looking back on it now….. I don’t think I would have pushed her to get treatment if I had know the severity of the disease. On on September 2nd, 2015.. She left me. I find myself turning into my mother a little bit every day …. some of her quirky traits have found me.. (Including talking to strangers especially in the grocery store.. sorry strangers!) Losing a mother is unlike any other feeling, I find my peace knowing how close we will always be- in this world .. or beyond.
I am who I am because of the strength my mother and may other strong people in my life inspired me to be. I am 33, I am a single, established, independent, caring, and determined woman. My side kick, is a 20 ( ok ok ok 21.6 ) Pound King Charles Cavalier Spaniel named Cadence. She is my world.. I found her by searching puppies on the internet one day, and soon after, she came home with me and we have been inseparable ever since! This year, she will turn 6 on June 24th, and was also the first year both she and I have hiked a mountain.
If you think a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel on a mountain is kind of a funny sight, I assure you, it is majestic 😉
About 3 years ago, I went on a 5 dates in 5 days epic spree. I met someone who I spent the following close to two years of my time with. While, about a year ago… we parted ways in a messy and unreconcilable split… I am thankful for the experience. “M” taught me so much about myself… I am still learning that I am strong and that I can do more than I had ever imagined. I also learned just what I do not want in my next long term relationship.. A friend of mine always says that people enter your life for “a reason, a season or a lifetime”, I tend to think that they can cross together.. and he certainly had a reason, a few seasons.. but my lifetime picture is ready to move forward without looking back.
Another person “N” recently gave me the opposite experience, I learned from him more of what I AM looking for in my forever. While, he isn’t it… I have gained a much clearer perspective of what my future is looking like.
There is a Memorial/Veterans Day quote that I see often, but can really apply to many more days in a life.. “All gave some, and Some gave all.”
Every person you meet in life can’t give you everything, but they all will give a little something. I am teaching myself to give some, to those who do the same. And save my all for someone who can give the same to me.
“N” is a good guy, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want him in my life- but removing him from it to find his way back if it’s right, is the best choice for me today. A hard task, but a worthy end.
So, this is my fresh start. My new beginning, for my blog AND for my perspective.
Happy Happy Memorial Day, to those who gave some, to those who gave all, their families, friends, and to the people who continue to give each and every day, to this country, to this world.. to me, to you, to all the living beings on this great earth.